VIEWS POP-UP
Before the official drop, before the announcement of Summer Sixteen, before the departure of the beard and the SNL takeover, there was the pop-up. It's a new trend among artists that has fans wired with excitement and lined up for blocks for GOD KNOWS WHAT. Announced via social media with a simple graphic, time, and address, Drake's Views mini-store was much a mystery up until its opening. Nevertheless, fuqboiz and fashion kids alike joined the seemingly unending queue that wrapped around the Bowery, filled with hope that the Drizzy himself MIGHT just be there.
Sadly, there he was not. Things that were actually seen included:
- Large, muscled bouncers who held down the doors and sidewalks, keeping the crowd in line, handing out wristbands, as the wait stretched to nearly an hour past the proposed entry time;
- Hipster assholes who think it's okay to chain smoke cigarettes while standing in a non-moving line;
- Baby hoodrats chatting animatedly about their quest to obtain herbal accouterments for the upcoming "holiday," a mission that somehow required an appointment in Roosevelt Island, which they'd likely now miss, due to afore mentioned delays;
- Old Asian women pushing large carts of recyclables down overcrowded sidewalks;
- NYU biddies
- A sketchy weed dude making laps around the line with a TupperWare, whispering " Bud, bud, cosmic cakes and brownies..."
- A scene where about half of the previously described hoodrats are plucked from line for not having received wristbands, while their valiant ringleader attempts to regroup. Growing in despair, Ringleader calls his homies, asking whether it's worth it to just cop some edibles off the sketchball pot guy. It's clear, they do not support this venture.
- Soho fashion slaves, bros in Yeezy swag, etc., etc.
Once the doors finally opened, fans were given specific directions regarding merch options (one free tee per person, black or white, standard sizing, blah, blah, blah) and permitted entry in small groups. As there was nothing to actually do in the shop besides wait in another small line and listen to about two and a half minutes of new Views tunage, such staggered pace was presumably put in place to keep from overwhelming the lackadaisical staff, whose efficiency was comparable to that of most post office teams.
By the time I reached the front of the line, an indifferent dude in generic Drake garb informed me that they were out of black...and smalls, thus making me the proud owner of a brand new piece of over-sized, likely-to-be stained, limited edition Aubrey Graham apparel.
Fortunately, tall friends love Drake too. And lucky for me, I've got one that stunts just as hard as I do. Get it @champagnepardi!
